AUTHENTIC RELATIONSHIP: WHAT IS EMOTIONAL DISHONESTY?

 

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WHAT IS EMOTIONAL DISHONESTY?

(C)2013 Taveau D’Arcy All copyrights reserved

 

The DR TCL principle definition of EMOTIONAL DISHONESTY is simple: It is the complete opposite of  a person, minister, being  open, completely truthful, direct,and upfront.

 

The EMOTIONALLY DISHONEST person will think one thing, but say /act something to the complete contrary.

 

 

Emotional Dishonesty is done displayed by the use of WORDS, (be they veiled purposed sly untruths or partial truths, even cleverly  omitted truths/lack of words).

 

 

Emotional Leader Dishonesty uses it’s supernatural higher power of natural bureaucratic governmental power to maintain CONTROL and get what IT wants. The fruit that reveals EMOTIONAL AVOIDANCE is truly the select communication TO and BY certain “preferred ones” but then purposely directly avoiding any who are not on the Preferred List. (favoritism/partial James 3:17)

 

In today’s chaotic society we find EMOTIONAL DISHONESTY nearly an every day occurrence in interactions between family, friends, church and in groups. And in any pioneering ministry or business, attempting to hire reliable “emotionally honest” delegatable truthful stable staff, helps and ministers has gotten increasingly much more difficult, way down in the deep south grass roots.

 

Hiding, posing, shifting accusative blame upon all others, living in complete denial that THEY have ANY responsibility in mistakes, thefts or being continually over late, is leader wearing. And this writer never experienced this until the recent move to the deep south grass roots. Seems like a lot of mothers and fathers NEVER held their tiny children RESPONSIBLE but not that they are way grown up, there seems to be a NATION FILLED with Big I, Smooth Talker, Gifted, Promising Leader complete NO SHOWS.

 

The writer’s attempts to up front confront COCONUT TIME in ministry staff, may now help others. Leader, the late Reverend Al Walker, of Charity Mission, VA, first told me of COCONUT TIME. He pulled out his watch as he was about to preach and told the congregation, “Tonight I will time myself by my watch and NOT preach on COCONUT  TIME. Coconut Time: You never know when the coconut will fall from the tree.”

 

This COCONUT TIME ministry generation will duck, avoid taking any responsibility and use much talent, high intelligence to weasel out of being pinned down for WHY the never once show up on time..some even 2 hours late time after time, without even ONCE thinking to call to inform the head leader.

 

DR T new policy: NO MORE 3 strikes and YOU’RE OUT..it’s now just 2 strikes.
Posing, putting up false facades are just one big modern example of being EMOTIONALLY DISHONEST.

 

There is nothing the matter with trying on various personas as one slowly seeks who they truly ARE in both natural and professional, leader. Yet it is the complete FRAUDS who are Emotionally Dishonest for self serving purpose only.

Emotional dishonesty is deception. It means that the human, minister, or group, is more interested in them SELF and /or in turning things around to GET SOMETHING for themself, be it approval, money, items, or to PRESERVE  SELF/ FACE.

 

If they are Bible students, they will tweak or use parts of Holy Bible Scripture to make it say what THEY want it to say: all for the sole benefit of HELPING THEM either GAIN something OR avoid being APPREHENDED.

 

The use of manipulation, putting on false pretenses, putting up a poser front, and even using fancy displays of material wealth or displays of their own power…for the purposes of gaining money/possessions, achieving power. It can use decoys, leader deception, misuse of Bible governing supernatural, natural power, to get IT’S WAY or to CONTROL people. Any use of cover up, for the purposes of avoiding, defrauding either personal, ministry or leader illegal /immoral or false use of authority, may be linked to the use of EMOTIONAL DISHONEST.

 

CUNNING use of manipulation, putting on a  false front or pretending to be honest, when in actuality they are NOT usually trying to get away with something that they understand is NOT quite 100 percent OK.

It says something out of it’s mouth that is in fact the opposite of what they are truly thinking.

 

EMOTIONAL DISHONESTY is rooted in SELF DECEPTION but also SELF PRESERVATION…to avoid being accuser blamed, emotionally wounded or found to be injured.

 

Because we live in a vulture worship culture of self seeking, personal self preservation, a ministry can hinder a fellow senior ministry by failing to accept personal responsibility if one of their senior ministers does something illegal or immoral, and the ducks/avoids, hides, or perhaps uses their big bureaucracy to hinder, repeatedly block and thus wear down any wronged person, who was merely seeking them to Matthew 18:15 as that is proper Bible mature apostolic leader chain of command.

 

Therefore: using manipulation, avoidance, ducking, accuser blame shifting also is part of any person, leader or ministry which is EMOTIONALLY DISHONEST.

 

READ GENESIS 3:

⁸ And they heard the voice of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God amongst the trees of the garden.

⁹ And the Lord God called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where art thou?

¹⁰ And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself.

¹¹ And he said, Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat?

¹² And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat.

¹³ And the Lord God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat.

 

THE FIRST BORN HUMAN: Avoiding  Chain of Command Authority

Let us examine the Genesis origins for Home, World Chain of Office Leader Command:

• Genesis 1: Father  God had forms Adam alone, and  while he  is still alone, God commands HIM ‘don’t eat ANY fruit from that ONE TREE.” (denoting office/respect/his authority
• The First Lady, Eve is formed. Evidently chain of command has Adam inform Eve of the Forbidden Fruit In Garden Policy, as she is definitely aware of it, evn though she one day gets deceived.
• Eve is deceived (sin #1), however, she walks straight up to Adam and offers it to him and rather than slapping it down from her hand, OR saying, “Shame on YOU, Eve, let’s go straight over to God to confess…maybe will forgive us” RATHER first Leader Adam, WILLFULLY takes it out of his wife’s hand and PUTS IT INTO HIS OWN MOUTH, PROCEEDS TO CHOMP DOWN ON IT and then PROCEEDS TO (APOSTOLIC LEADER) SWALLOW IT.

Following this,  the Father, who discerned what had happened, comes into the Garden to up front confront Adam and Eve. It is interesting that instead of calling out “ADAM and EVE, where are you?” that God uses the head of home, world office chain of command by calling out   “Adam, where are you?”

 

 

The writer believes that God called out for ADAM due to the fact that Adam had been first charged with the leader over seer charge regarding NOT eating the forbidden FRUIT  responsibility way before Eve was formed. (just a selah to ponder)

 

 

The point should be made that the TONE of GOD in leader upfront, parent/son confrontation did NOT model an Accuser. He was up front yet  respectful.

 

As a good parent, this was only the way ANY GOOD PATIENT FATHER would act; Surely God wanted Adam to FESS UP, to RISE UP and use His God given Authority to STAND UP by admitting what had taken place “on his watch.”

 

God came to UP FRONT LOVINGLY CONFRONT both Adam and Eve, He apparently wanted to see if Adam would RISE UP and MAN UP by STANDING UP to leader confess that “a lot of mistakes have been made.”

 

Adam apparently realized that God might zero in past First Lady Eve’s own deception and actually call Adam on the organic earth carpet about his OWN “illegal participation” in the now  Forbidden Fruit Infamous Story.

 

Surely as the Father was a tough love, up front, confrontational, Mano to mano basic leader Kind, he realized that GOOD pastoring and NON mean spirited parenting often would mean digging in to get at the root Truth. So akin to any good Pastor or PARENT  tried to leader up front confront.

(Theory: WHAT if Adam had accepted responsibility and asked God’s forgiveness on behalf of himself and for him and his wife? WOULD God have actually forgiven both of them?) Just pondering, not trying to ignite religious fire!!

The Creator Dad, tough love, up front, walked over to his son Adam, to maturely upfront leader confront him, (which this write notes was NOT modeling an Accuser but indeed hero role modeled respect for the Head Office Appropriate Chain of Command) and simply stood there watching to see if Adam would MAN UP to take personal responsibility. (as Adam had been willfully taken the fruit from Eve’s deceived hand and put it into his own mouth, chomped down on it and then swallowed it WILLFULLY)

 

SELF AND EMOTIONALLY DISHONESTY 

Since sin first came into the World the fallen nature’s main sin has been those related to SERVE, PLEASE and PROTECT ONE’S OWN SELF.

 

 

This we see in all fallen humankind: from young to ancient, we see other people’s and each of our own, attempt to SELF SERVE, SELF PLEASE and SELF PROTECT.

 

All of this may include  avoiding accountability/direct personal responsibility, blames shifting onto another to avoid taking self ownership.

And all of this happens in good leader families and ministries and also includes operating in Matthew 18:15 -18 Bible Up Front Personal Confrontation rather than hiding, ducking, or avoiding it.

 

Emotionally HONEST true persons are DIRECT and attempt to embody a lifestyle, and ministry lampstand which models: James 3:17, “The wisdom from above is first of all pure, peaceable, EASILY ENTREATED, full of good fruits, full of mercy and without HYPOCRISY.

One who is emotionally dishonest is one who who is NOT being completely honest with them self. They accuse others in order to shift blame off of themselves.

 

IF they are a helper, associate who is supremely tardy, they use a lot of emotional energy and precious time concocting good “blame shifting” excuses. “The cat hid my car keys, etc.”

AND a person who is emotionally dishonest, will observe something in your character, personal life, ministry that THEY do not like. But rather than being completely OPEN, and Matthew 18:15 loving you by personally up front confronting you. they talk ABOUT you to a lot of family members, friends, or ministers.

Hereby endeth the Submitted Selah

(C)2013 Taveau D’Arcy All copyrights reserved